We all have this little voice in our head, that tells us we’re not good enough, or we don’t do enough. Enough of that!!
In coaching speak, we call that voice The Saboteur. The saboteur comes and sabotages your self confidence. It handicaps you. Listening to that voice telling you you’re not good enough makes you play small.
How can you tell that voice to shut up?
One way is to create SMART Goals. The Coaches Training Institute has a unique definition of SMART Goals:
S = Specific. In order for a goal to be achievable, it needs to be specific. What exactly do you want to accomplish?
M = Measurable. A goal must be measurable and have a date attached to it; otherwise, how can you know you’ve accomplished it?
A = Accountable. In moving toward a goal, it is useful for you to have a coach such as myself holding you accountable for achieving it.
R = Resonant. Resonant goals are what move you toward the things that truly bring you fulfillment. Is the goal something you truly desire? Will working to achieve it be fully honoring your values? A good coach can help you find the resonance in your goals, and help you to let go of goals that are not resonant for you.
T = Thrilling. Goals should be so thrilling — and even scary — that you can’t wait to get started! Set goals that have you stretch, that will call you forth to new capabilities and power, that push and pull you forward into a bigger life.
When you get specific with the saboteur voice, using techniques like SMART goals, then the saboteur doesn’t have so much power over you. The saboteur likes to use vague generalizations to bring you down, so when you come back with something concrete and measurable, you can stand up to it.
Like this S.M.A.R.T. formulation a lot better than the usual one!
As I learned in a workshop, if you are going to run a script in your head that’s not really reality based – then why run a negative one?
running a positive script in your head that you are a decent person, competent and earn & deserve good things – is a much better and more reality based script to play!
nina
http://ntrygg.wordpress.com
Totally!
I’ve been reading The Feeling Good Handbook about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and the author talks about something similar called Cost-Benefit Analysis: “How will it help me to believe this negative thought, and how will it hurt me?”
If the hurt is more than the help, then see if the attitude is realistic, and revise it to the degree you can.
but, sometimes you do need a good and hard look at yourself & what you’re doing in order to address issues and make changes that will make you happy
I find I am often giving permission to myself and others to not be perfect – whatever that’s supposed to be.
make the best choice you can with the information and resources you have
if later you discover you could have made a better choice, then learn and don’t dwell – and use that to inform future decision moments.
I had to come back to this, because you used a different break out for SMART than I am used to – and I couldn’t put my finger on the difference, but it happened to come up in a class I was in today:
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time bound
I think I like your Accountable better, because achievable and realistic are too close in the one I learned
But I think that time bound (deadlines) is missing from yours.
At my school I think they tied Measurable and Time Bound together: part of measurable is having a date to measure by.
Meeting deadlines is a measurable milestone – but there’s also other things – number of letters, number of phone calls, meetings.
I think time bound is more about an urgency and deadline for completing – than a way to measure along the process to check progress and that you’re on track
Pingback: Don’t Give Up! « Starry Night Coaching